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The long way back

Sun Oct 6, 2013, 3:34 PM


Well, it's been a very long time . . . by now it's almost two years since I've been active on dA. 
Quite a lot has happened since then and there were some drastic changes in my life as to myself.

To put it bluntly,  I 've been though heaven, the nine circles of hell and back again.
One day, I lived a wonderful dream, thinking I've had finally found salvation, only to awake in oblivion the next day and a nightmare I thought I'd never awake from.
At some points, I felt like I was radiating the joy of life itself and at some points I wanted to end it all to escape from purgatory (it was a close call).
Fortunately, my journey did not end in desperation and I found my way back to the surface again.
I certainly have changed during that time; life isn't a comfortable teacher, but you definately remember the lessons.

Howevery,  along that path I found a precious gift too:

For more than a decade, I looked with envy at those who could take their visions out of their minds and capture them on paper.
I too had so many pictures in my head, wanted to capture them and make them come to life, but I couldn't.
Naturally, if the last time you held a pencil was more than 10 years ago, you start back there when you pick one up again - according results included. :faint:
I tired to compensate the urge with technology and picked up photography. It was a great experience, but it wasn't what I really wanted to do. :firelite-photo:
Unfortunately, with motivation scarce and support from friends and family basically non-existant, one can easily lose faith in the pursue of artistic crafts.

So, somewhere during that bleak episode of my life, I just picked up a pencil without thinking about it and picked up where I left off so long ago - I started drawing to keep my thoughts in check, to prevent me from overthinking and to occupy my mind from painting one possible dark future after another. If I had at one moment stopped and given my mind time to ponder about what I was doing, I'd have been lost again like so many times before.
However, I never did.

Things were slowly getting better again. I didn't need to prevent me from thinking any longer and could take an honest look at the stacks of paper I had clung to like a liferaft.
What I saw surprised me and even the worst of my inner critics admitted that he could see improvement.
The proof was there, I didn't just imagine it or had to convince myself:

:deviation: I am able to draw. :dalove:

And that's what I'm going to do :painter:


Getting Started by Phoenix-from-FlamesGetting Started 2 by Phoenix-from-Flames

  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: Butterfly Tea - Japanese Waves
  • Drinking: Black tea

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Phoenix-from-Flames
Thomas
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
Austria
The one who picked up the camera and found the pencil instead . . .
:firelite-photo: :painter:

I've just started working with traditional tools so there's a long way ahead of me.

Feedback, suggestions and everything else remotely helpful for artistic improvement is highly welcome !

I love Feedback by Sweet-DooDo Escapist Stamp by Tuonenkalla I Respect All Art Stamp Revamp by Sinister-Starfeesh Background Music by Skylark-93 So Many Books by LaPurr I Love The Rain by Wearwolfaa Reality... by Steamstrike
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liberameCINDY:iconliberamecindy:
:gallery:
Wed Oct 2, 2013, 11:43 AM
liberameCINDY:iconliberamecindy:
:cutehi: nice gallery
Wed Oct 2, 2013, 11:41 AM
Nobody

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:icondoolhoofd:
Have you ever considered writing? 

just a suggestion.
Reply
:iconphoenix-from-flames:
Phoenix-from-Flames Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The idea of writing did cross my mind, but I never really considered to make something more of it.
Thing is, while I can be quite handy with words when given the right "spark", something that gets me thinking.
I'm not very good at putting together cohesive stories, though.

Putting a train of thought into text or describing an emotional situation by allegories etc. is what I can do (see many of my over-sized dA comments for reference :stupidme:).
But since I tend to be quite elaborate once I get started I'm and rarely get feedback on my thoughts, I'm under the impression that people percive my words as babble.

Anyhow, your comment is much appreciated, I'll take it as a compliment :handshake: !
Thanks again !
Reply
:icondoolhoofd:
You're free to spark up on the stuff in my gallery, I always reply; I'm an amateur thinker/writer myself, so I guess it takes one to know one.
Reply
:iconpromet-he-us:
Promet-he-us Mar 16, 2014   General Artist
Vielen Dank für den :+fav: für 'Papillon', Thomas!
Reply
:icona14onymus:
a14onymus Jan 6, 2014  Professional Photographer
Thank YOU!--- very much for donating me some points.I will take good care of them.:giggle:
Reply
:iconphoenix-from-flames:
Phoenix-from-Flames Jan 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're most welcome ! :handshake:
Reply
:iconmatteocattonar:
MatteoCattonar Dec 7, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
THX :hug: 


please like this page www.facebook.com/MatteoCattona…
(if you already done...thx a lot!)
Reply
:iconphoenix-from-flames:
Phoenix-from-Flames Dec 13, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Anytime :handshake:
Reply
:iconpromet-he-us:
Promet-he-us Oct 30, 2013   General Artist
Vielen Dank für den :+fav: für 'Girl in the shadow', Thomas!
Reply
:iconphoenix-from-flames:
Phoenix-from-Flames Nov 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Immer wieder ein Vergnügen :-)
Reply
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